ONE

Koko is one year old today.

A beautiful one year old.

We can't wait to share her with everyone someday.

Someday...

Love you all,
smj

SO....NO TITLE TODAY.

So, I'm just sitting here in silence trying to understand what the reason could possibly be that we continue to hear one bit of bad news (or no news) after another. Folks, it doesn't make sense.

Today was...
Well, today was another heart breaking day on the adoption front. Honestly I've tried not to be dramatic about the ongoing saga of delays that has epitomized our process, but today I really just can't sit around and say, "well, we'll just have to wait a little more, it's all out of our control." As if taking control of it ourselves would make the whole thing right.

We had hoped to hear a few days ago that a document was obtained to get us to the next step in the process of bringing Koko home. (Kind of like in National Treasure, you get a clue, to get another clue, to get another clue, yada yada yada.) Jessica says today that this first of three needed documents has still not been obtained because of currently unexplainable events involving people in the process. Sound cryptic? It is. Unfortunately rules dictate that I cannot give you details on line. Suffice it to say that we can't make sense of it.

Tears were flowing today. Um....we are faithful, faithful people. But I gotta tell ya -- hearing right now that this is some sort of "plan" is kinda tough. (just being honest)

Ok, fine. We will wait. It's what we HAVE to do. Koko is counting on us to be strong people (she just doesn't know it.) But this constant getting-our-hearts-squashed thing is getting me to feel yucko inside.

We are just thankful to have our wonderful family to hold us up when we need reminded to stay positive. If you think about it, pray for our strength over the next few weeks. And for these WONDERFUL PEOPLE, too.


Let Israel hope in the Lord: for with the Lord there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption. (Psalms 130:7)

Hey, Guido had his little 'parts' snip snipped last week and he got over it - we can learn from his shining example, I guess!

love you all,
smj

WHEN YOU'RE DONE CHANGING, YOU'RE DONE.

Isn't it true....When you're done changing, you're done...

I originally found this quote while searching for something inspiring to share with families and staff at my new building, as there are quite a few things that I will gently need to "change" as we journey from good to great as a organization...no small task when things there have been pretty much status quo and maybe even a bit stagnant for the last 8 years.

But it also speaks to our journey to Koko. We've changed and learned a lot over the last few months, in fairly miniscule ways to a deeper changing of the heart and mind as we continue to grow in character. It continues to be hard, to wait, to stay positive to expect good news, to continue to be disappointed by yet another delay or road block in the process. We can't make sense of it, it's not possible to make sense of it because there is often no rhyme or reason to the process, we've learned.

So, for now, enough of trying to be all philosophical. Bottom line - we wait. It's what we do.

But hey - I found a little tiny Mickey Mouse in my box of Frosted Mini Wheats this morning and since I don't have a human child to give it to, of course I gave it to my furry-dog-child to play with. Guido's been rather attached to it all day. Also, he went with me to work today and apparently when I was working, some of the residents decided to feed him ham for lunch, or so it looked that way when he threw it up this afternoon on the couch. No offense sweet little elderly residents of the nursig home, but - NO PEOPLE FOOD FOR OUR DOGGIE! This is strictly not allowed. Chad said he's going to head over to the nursing home and take somebody out! (Right.) He's a protective furry-dog-child daddy. It's pretty sweet. I'm sure this is nothing compared to how huge his heart will swell for Koko when she's home! So, we dream, we keep counting the days/weeks, and we hope for a little good news when we least expect it.

Good night family,

smj

GUIDO-NESS

Here's some dreamy Guido-ness for you this Valentine's Day. He's 6 months old now. Love to all!

smj

MMMMMMMMMM.....

As I sit here fairly exhausted from finishing up with our annual state health department inspection today (they came in Monday, my first official day in my new facility here in Littleton, with a brand new management company, and tons of the new people in to help with the transition...), I find myself overwhelmed with lots of different feelings. Probably partly because I'm tired from 4 Looooong days at work, but I think mostly from the whole overwhelming enchilada of life. Sometimes it's like that, right? Lots of things happening all at the same time. I just have to sit back and let my mind take it all in...

a) There are BIG changes at work, with a new boat load of challenging but exciting expectations...it's got my mind so full...
b) A dreamy little doggie that doesn't seem to be getting a lot bigger (teeny and cute!) but who is now doing this new snorting, wheezing, sneezing, sniffling thing that seems concerning...(yes, we even worry about our "boy"!)
c) Knowing that our Immigration Approval is about to expire and that we have to start from scratch with a whole new homestudy agency since our old one went out of business - more paperwork, more check writing - Sooooo frustrating...
d) Keeping our expectations at bay with the knowledge that this adoption timeline just is unpredictable - we prepare ourselves for weeks more of waiting...

Oh the 'rush' of it all.

Jessica gave us a bit of news that basically says the process is moving, but that we are still on that same 'several weeks more' timeline. Someday it will happen, someday Koko will be in our arms...

someday when it's time.

May everyone have peace where ever life has you...
much love,
smj

I think I'll have a cold drink and let my doggie provide some much needed 'therapy' now!