Sunday, July 12, 2009


I don’t often admit to being afraid. And as the days slowly go by, admittedly and vulnerably I find myself feeling some fear. Fear that things will not happen on the same time line I have imagined in my mind. Why? The timeline in my mind was blown to pieces months ago! But, man, we are so close. Perhaps that is why I am more afraid now. I let my mind wander…some of you may know how that works… If only the process wasn't so unpredictable! My dear Chad is so much more level-headed where this is concerned. “Susan, it’ll happen when it happens.” I try to hear that and feel that inside, but many times, my mind runs wildly away! I want it to happen on MY time! Not good!

"The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18). However I am not perfect, and thank goodness God knows it. Thank goodness he spread tons of words of encouragement against fear throughout the bible. He reminds me to “fear not.”

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, surely I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:10)

Ok then. I will read and re-read this post several times over the next few days. I will work to let go, and put my trust in the hands of the officials in Ethiopia, to trust their timeline, that they will use their hearts to accomplish amazing things for our family and so many other families, to trust in God.

Ok then!

smj out

PS - Prayers for safe travels for Chad while he is in Haiti this week!


J, A and T said...

I am 100% with you you on this post.
Love to you.

Jen said...

We are with you, praying.

Tanya and Tony said...

It's totally understandable....and I completely relate...with the fear and having to guard your heart. This process tests & retests our faith and trust in the Almighty, Sovereign God. He directs our path and works out the details. But why is it always so hard for us to let go of the reigns? You'd think I'd have it down by now, but I am still working on this one as well. Praying for a positive outcome on court day!!

Beth said...

I am totally feeling your post today. Isaiah 41:10 is my favorite verse and has been with me through this whole process. Praying we get to travel with you before the rainy season!

LoveNotes4CocoPrincess said...

Girl, I know what you are not alone in that feeling! We got your back in prayers and meditation!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Susie Q, it's always been in God's hands and you've known it. It is perfectly human to try to get it done in "Susan time," you'd be a bit odd if that weren't true. Your little girl has no idea of the amazing life she has to look forward to with two such amazing parents! It will happen. Love you always, Janet

Jena said...

Praying for you!!! God is in control as you know, but I think He is going to do great things this time!!!!! Praying with you and for you and Chad.

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